“Sound character provides the power with which a person may ride the emergencies of life instead of being overwhelmed by them.” Og Mandino
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” Mark Twain
Overwhelmed! The most frequent use of the word used to be describing one military force overcoming another. Now, overwhelm is a feeling that seems a daily condition for many people. Often my clients describe that feeling of “too many things coming at me” or being “frozen with indecision.” And even with plenty of coaching tools at my disposal, I admit to having that feeling sometimes too! It’s a fact of modern day life that everything seems to be moving faster, there are too many choices, and we face ever-increasing demands for more knowledge and capabilities. Of course we’re going to feel that it’s impossible to keep up sometimes!
The book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell provides a fabulous example of overwhelm. In a psychological experiment, researchers gave subjects six jam samples to rate. With just six choices, the subjects rated the jams almost exactly as professional taste testers rated them. However, when given 20 jams to rate, those same subjects did a terrible job. Too much input prevented the subjects from being able to execute good judgment on something as simple as rating the quality of jelly. Did you ever walk into a store thinking you knew what you wanted, but after seeing all the options and information associated with each, you just felt confused and frustrated? As amazing as our human brains are, it seems that once we try to deal with too many factors at once, our decision making and logic capabilities short-circuit and we’re in what our society now calls “overwhelm.” No, it’s not just you; virtually all of us are experiencing some form of this phenomenon.
Unfortunately, being in overwhelm doesn’t serve us. As demonstrated by the jam experiment, when we’re in that state of overwhelm our decision-making capabilities are not their best. At a time when we most need to make good choices about what to do next, or how to handle a situation, the sensation of overwhelm actually interferes with our ability to do so. There are things you can do to put yourself back in control when that sensation of overwhelm strikes. The next time you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, try one or two of these tips:
Write: Most people can mentally manage 5 – 7 pieces of data at once. Think about trying to remember a phone number. Most of us can, with concentration, remember a 7-digit phone number long enough to dial it. But most of us can’t remember a 10-digit phone number. A great first step when you feel overwhelmed is to write down the key things that you’re keeping track of in that moment. Although we all have hundreds of things we want to do, I find that when I do this exercise with clients, they generally have about 10 things that they are actively trying to manage. Taking the list out of your head and putting it on to paper frees your mental processing to evaluate, prioritize, and make better decisions. The more you do this, and the more you build the trust with yourself to write out the list and take good action, the faster you’ll exit that feeling of overwhelm.
Refocus: When a camera is focused in too closely on its subject, everything else in the frame blurs out of focus. Overwhelm can be like that camera that is focused too closely. When you “pan out” to bring the bigger picture into focus, that broader perspective can be helpful in resolving your overwhelm. Ask yourself questions like, “What is another way to look at this?” or “What’s the part that I’m NOT seeing that would help make sense of this?” A simple reframe of being grateful for many opportunities instead of being attacked by problems can shift your focus. Or consider getting someone else’s perspective to help you refocus.
Unwind: If you spin your body around in circles several times quickly you’ll make yourself dizzy and confused. The same is true when your mind spins in circles around the things that cause your overwhelm. Repeatedly going over and over the same pattern of thinking has the effect of making you dizzy and wondering which way is “up,” just like physical dizziness. And when your spinning includes things you can’t do anything about, such as regrets about the past or fears about the future, the sense of confusion and hopelessness increases because there’s no answer. Unwinding to reduce overwhelm means first breaking the mental spinning process (writing, as described above, can be one way). Second, it means looking at what caused you to go into spin in the first place (what part did the trigger play in your overwhelm?). And third, “unwind” mentally by relaxing, thinking about something affirming for a few minutes, moving your body for a livelier mental condition, or getting some rest to return to the mental challenge more refreshed.
Just because you live in today’s busy, fast-paced world doesn’t mean you have to be at the mercy of overwhelm. When that sensation of overwhelm begins, choose to write, refocus, or unwind so you can keep functioning at your best.
